Tonight, as I brush my teeth and wash my face,
I say my mirror affirmations—
just as I do every morning and night.

But tonight, something spills out naturally
as I look at myself in the mirror:
“I am ready to let go.”

I notice how hard I’ve been trying
to control the outcome of so much.
Doing all the “things”:
writing, reading, affirmations, meditation,
prayer, therapy, the list goes on—
all the things intended to “get me there.”

When in reality, I’ve been over-working,
over-controlling, over-thinking,
and I’m noticing my body trying to show me
by pushing it all out—
the way it has before—
in acne, in tension, in pain.

I’m learning to loosen my grip
on the things I never needed to hold in the first place—
the expectations, the weight, the roles I outgrew.

My worth was never tied to how much I could carry for others,
but to my inherent value as a human being.

This season is inviting me to release what drains me,
so I can return to what grounds me.

Fear ⟶ let it go.
Control ⟶ let it go.
Tonight, I accept this.

Truly, I feel the desire to release—detox—
to just be again.

Earlier today, I said something in conversation
that circled back to me with an ah-ha:
“I don’t check the weather anymore—
the rain will come whenever it comes,
and I can’t control that.
So I stopped checking the media
and just look outside to prepare for it.”

If it’s so easy to release the control there,
then it’s time to apply that same, simple trust
to my relationships and life.

Practice what I preach.
And tonight is the night.

As I take Ezra out one last time,
I look at the trees along the driveway.
They’ve released all their leaves now—
bare, thin, exposed.
Still, they stay rooted,
ready to begin their cycle of growth again.
But first—hibernation.

I am here for the season.
I am here for letting go.
I am here for me.

Beauty is she who chooses to be free.
… a trail motto born on the SHT in 2021,
while hiking alone and discovering myself…
a mantra that returns to me tonight.